THE CRUCIFUCKS

Formed: Lansing, Michigan, USA

URBAN DICTIONARY: The best punk band of all time, hailing from Lansing, Michigan their brand of punk pissed off everybody from Ronald Regean to Christians to police (never more apparent then it their song Cops From Fertilzer). Lead singer Doc Corbin Dart schreechy vocals put the sound of pure hate to the ears of all TRUE punk fans.

Strange and provocative even by Alternative Tentacles standards, these japesters from Michigan gigged as The Scribbles (for obvious reasons) and had an impossibly highly-strung singer, Doc Corbin Dart, who sounded like a cross between Pete Shelley, Jello Biafra and Elmo from Sesame Street. The son of Rollin Dart, former chair of Dart National Bank, Lil Doc was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and, despite being VERY VOCAL INDEED about politicians, pursued a career in politics himself, running for mayor of Lansing (he finished third of three) and petitioning Lansing to open a women's crisis centre.Doc Cornin Dart of The Crucifucks

He was also a sick little puppy.

Here are some gems for his lyric brain:

I can see you're very glad to hear about the raid
Some of the cops were happy to give a lot more than they are paid
But what about the copter crash that took off piggy's head?
We celebrated all weekend now we're glad that he is dead
And what about that plane crash two hundred and fifty army scum
Came home in pieces for christmas cheer while i sipped my egg nog and rum"
- Pig In A Blanket, 1987

"I can't believe they're serious, superstitious spastic fools
They live for everlasting life, and ruin my life here on earth
T hey must be so intelligent, to know so much more than me...
I wanna take the president, chop off his head, and mail it to them in a garbage bag"
- Hinkley Had A Vision, 1984

"Let's kill the fucking pigs if they get in our way
It'll set a good example for the children today
It'll keep kids out of trouble shooting pigs after school
Wasting cops will be the hero's golden rule"
- Cops For Fertiliser, 1984

"Some really good friends of mine they blew up a factory
No one really knows how it happened and they are still running free
And i think it's funny...
Just like the Berlin disco and the chumps inside
and the stupid space shuttle and the fools that cried
I've got a mind to build a fucking bomb of my own
But my nitroglycerin is out on loan
And i'd rather not talk about this on the phone but it's funny..."
- Laws Against Laughing, 1987

"You nearly drove me crazy in your asshole schools
Grooming us all to be fucking fools
Working for the government as zombie tools
But we won't be satisfied till we trash your rules
Put a gun in my back and i'll do what you say
But i'll burn down your house if i get away,
Throw me in jail and i'll spit in your face
Cuz anarchy is gonna take your fucking place
So be a good american - fuck off!
Be a good american and go to war
Be a god fearing citizen and kill someone
Or kill yourself!!"
- Democracy Spawns Bad Taste, 1984

The Crucifucks is an unbelievably nasty and foul-mouthed hardcore album that came in a sleeve featuring a farmyard scene taken from a children's' book. Each of the fifteen tracks is a masterpiece of minimalism: with no bridges or middle eights, when the chorus ends the tendency is to stop playing for a split second and start again at the beginning. Variety is added by a predilection for artiness and a disconcerting habit of introducing stabs of melody. Highly political, among the many quotable titles are 'Cops For Fertilizer', 'Hinkley Had A Vision', 'Go Bankrupt And Die' and 'Democracy Spawns Bad Taste'.

A long gap lay between the first and second LPs, by which time Corbin was the only remaining original member. Wisconsin is, if anything, a weightier affair, with more easily discernible tunes and sing-a-long moments that merely make the group seem even weirder. No less confrontational, Corbin and co race through such deliberately shocking odes to anarchy as 'Pig In A Blanket', 'Laws Against Laughing' and 'When The Top Comes Off', occasionally sounding like Nomeansno and even early Black Sabbath. Some of the lyrics are unbelievably sick (that's funny).

Both albums were issued as Our Will Be Done, with an extra track ('Annual Report') taken from Maximum Rock 'n' Roll's Welcome To 1984 compilation album. The disc ran into legal troubles over the unlicensed use of a photo of a dead cop. The photo was actually from a Philadelphia Police Department drill, and Corbin was taken to court by The Philadelphia chapter of the Fraternal Order of Police over use of the photo. The case was eventually thrown out. Biafra: "Of all the legal harassment I've been through, this has to be the most groundless, mean-spirited and ridiculous."

In the early 90's Doc Dart released two LPs for Alternative Tentacles: Patricia (1990) - named after Dart's therapist - and the tape-only Black Tuesday (1991).

The 1996 LP L.D. Eye was actually intended as a Doc Corbin Dart solo album, until Jello Biafra insisted on the use of the clearly more lucrative Crucifucks moniker.

In 2004 Doc changed his name to 26 and released a solo CD, The Messiah.

DISCOGRAPHY

Singles / Albums


The Crucifucks Wisconsin      
The Crucifucks
(LP, 1984)
Wisconsin
(LP, 1987)
     

Extraneous Releases

Our Will Be Done        
Our Will Be Done
(CD, 1992)
       

Demos

       
No Scan        
I Am The Establishment
(Tape, 1982)
       

 

Various Artists

Meathouse 1 US Tape 1982 (Version Sound): Hinkley Had A Vision

Welcome To 1984 US LP 1984 (Maximumrocknroll): Annual Report

The Virus That Would Not Die! US CD 1997 (Alternative Tentacles): The Story Of Thomas McElwee

Links

The Troublemaker. How Crucifucks Frontman Doc Dart Became a Man Named 26 - Excellent interview/article

The Unofficial Crucifucks and Dead Kennedys Homepage

My Own Market Narrative - A really shit interview and two songs - all on Public Access

 

You can add stuff and make comments/corrections by emailing me at:

jane@punkygibbon.co.uk

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